The Highly Energetic Child.

Children seem to have endless amounts of energy. They can scream really loud, play quite aggressively and make a huge mess. The worry of them hurting themselves or knocking things over often leads to parents feeling like all they do is shout and moan at their kids. Here are my top 5 tips to remain level headed and find peace when your children are experiencing high energy.

1. Letting go of the ‘good’ play expectations

I’ll set the scene. Sofa cushions are on the floor, toys are scattered around, your child is screaming pretending to be a cat and keeps hurting their sibling (even though you have told them countless times not to!). This sort of play scenario is present in almost every single household I have worked with. Kids can just be crazy sometimes! This kind of play scenario often leads to frustrated parents shouting in an attempt to control the situation. It can be easy to fall into the trap of putting adult expectations on our little ones. Preferring a more easily manageable play situation that involves no screaming, no fighting and minimal mess. The quiet, concentrated play is labelled as ‘good’ whilst boisterous, loud play is labelled as ‘bad’. But children do both! They will have their quiet play moments sucked into their imagination worlds and they will also have those moments when they are being crazy. The moment you stop trying to control every 'bad’ play situation, you will notice that you shout less, your patience increases and you generally moan at your child less. The crazy play does not last all day and eventually your children will naturally settle down.

2.Let children hurt themselves safely

Often our frustrations come from a place of trying to stop the children hurting themselves. Running around, throwing things, climbing and bouncing, children will do it all and no doubt there will be times when they hurt themselves. If you find yourself always having a go at your children when they are playing here is something I find helpful. Before you shout, do a risk assessment, if your child is running on hard floors with socks on, they are probably at some point going to fall down, I will say “You might slip running on floors with socks on so be careful!” or “run with your socks off”. A lot of times I will be ignored. This is where I judge whether it is something I should be more stern with or let them understand and learn through falling. A child naturally learns by doing, so a lot of the time, as long as it’s not something ridiculously dangerous, I will let children hurt themselves. You can be there to help put a plaster on the ouchie and have your ‘I told you so’ moment (in a kind way of course!). The next time your child wants to run around, you can remind them of the ouchie and taking their socks off or not running at all is easily integrated into their play.

3.The method within the madness

Another tip that might be useful is having ‘structured madness’. If I am having trouble controlling a play situation. I will usually say something like this “okay kids I can see you have A LOT of energy! I’m going to put a timer on my phone for 5 minutes, this is going to be your crazy 5 minutes. Some rules… don’t hurt each other or yourself, don’t break mummy or daddy's things and we help tidy up after”. Start the timer on your phone and release the crazy! This method is so helpful in containing the crazy behaviour to a small, manageable 5 minute window. I find that most of the time all that really happens is running around, fighting with pillows and jumping on the sofa. It really isn’t that bad in the grand scheme of things. The child feels satisfied in being allowed to release their crazy energy and you feel like you’ve controlled a high energy situation that could have lasted way longer! When the 5 minutes is up the children can help clean as fast as they can (you can use the timer for this to make it more fun) and then move onto a more structured style of play that doesn't involve so much crazy running/play fighting.

4.Take a break

If you’re trying to work from home, or you’ve just had a busy day the last thing you want to hear is screaming children, fighting, or risky play behaviours. Kids can be annoying sometimes and when patience is literally hanging on by a thread you will always find yourself shouting and being frustrated at your kids. Knowing when to tag team another person in is a key skill that all parents should learn. You do not have to do this alone! It always takes a village to raise a child so ask favours of your friends and family or use a babysitter/nanny for a well deserved break. When your needs are met, you can focus more attentively on your children and your interactions are not fuelled by frustration.

5.Go Outside

Depending on the weather, this is a go to option for me to release the pent up energy children seem to cling on to. Get to a park, a soft play or any local place that your child can run around in. Honestly sometimes the weather doesn’t even matter. Even if it’s raining i’ll let the children run around the garden playing games. As long as they’re happy and releasing all that energy, then i’m happy! Children will also naturally reduce their energy levels when outside, especially when in a new place, as they find themselves in new outdoor territory. Children are still heavily reliant on parents for survival and protection meaning they are more alert of their surroundings when outdoors compared to when indoors. Try take your kids somewhere outdoors they have never been before. They might listen better in a new outdoor environment and be prepared to follow instruction. Most of all, getting outside is healthy not just for your kids but for you! You also need exercise and fresh air incorporated into your day and there’s no better way to do that than to get outside and have some fun.

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please do send an email to nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com