Motherhood and fatherhood is not an easy ride. Some parents find the whole ordeal of having children quite intimidating because they don’t really know how to communicate with their child or ‘get on their level’. I have worked with hundreds of children and these are my 3 go to strategies to connect with a child and build trust.

Number 1- Meet them at eye level.

When you want to communicate with a small child bend your knees (if you can!) and get down lower to talk with them. This decreases the distance and creates a level of equalness and approachability. Children can then talk straight at you rather than look upwards which is daunting!

Number 2- Play!

This is the most important way to connect. I often hear parents wondering why children don’t ‘use their words’ or yelling ‘tell me what’s wrong!’ The fact is, the child CAN’T tell them, they just haven’t formed the cognitive ability to use their words in the sophisticated way we can. The language just isn’t there yet. Play is how a child makes sense of the world around them. They use play to practise real life scenarios such as family role play, hurting themselves in doctors role play and the idea of evil and good with hero and villain role play. If something has happened or if a child is thinking of something they cannot express, they will play it out! In order to connect and teach your child joining in is necessary. If you would like to communicate something with your child, introduce it in the world of play and see what they do. For example I wanted the child to brush their teeth at night so during the day we played dolls and put all the dolls to bed, before they went to sleep I quickly said- ‘oh no the babies haven’t brushed their teeth! Oh no! Quick let’s brush their teeth! The child immediately agreed and jumped into action grabbing a stick and brushing their teeth. That evening getting the child to brush their teeth became much easier as the dolls had to do it!

Number 3- Enter the imagination world.

On the topic of play, the next best way to connect with your child is to fully enter the imagination world. You will be asked to play characters that to the outside world will look strange, embarrassing even! Some examples of characters I myself have played is a magical cat, a doll that had to steal precious items from the bad monster, a mother taking her crazy children (that were actually marbles) to school, a doctor for a group of dolls that constantly hurt themselves and a wolf that chased the child whenever they entered the bedroom. These wild creations all have meaning to the child and if you participate even for just an hour they will really appreciate your input to the game. Being silly can be vulnerable but sometimes you’ve gotta say ‘well what the heck’ and get stuck in. You are definitely not a bad person if you don’t have the mental stamina to maintain a game for hours on end as many children's game can be repetitive and quite frankly a bit boring sometimes! Even half an hour in the imagination world is a great way to connect.

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please send an email to: nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com