“Should I Make My Child Go To School?”
Children go to school to learn the basics of a wide array of subjects in the hopes that tests can be passed at the end of it. Therefore it is always assumed that when a child misses school, their grades will fall and the child will be left behind. As much as there are many pros to school, sometimes a child misses quite a lot of it and today we’ll discuss some of the possible reasons why and how to deal with it.
Mental Health
The number of children suffering with mental health issues has been steadily increasing and I, along with many others, have noticed a large spike in teenagers struggling to cope with school stress alongside symptoms of anxiety and depression. For whatever reason, your child no longer has the mental charge needed to get themselves to school to learn and this can lead to stress over their future and how they will receive an education. “GET UP! I need to go to work, you can’t stay here all day doing nothing!” is a helpless cry many parents chant that is often met with retaliation. At this point it’s always good to do a reality check with yourself. Your child’s mental health and wellbeing is WAY more important than a day at school and if your child is having suicidal thoughts, cutting themselves, or having any other extreme symptom of a mental illness then your child getting those GCSE’s is really not that important and can be done at another point in life. Many people still have great and successful lives without any qualifications so burdening a mentally vulnerable child with the stress of a failed future is unnecessary. Friendship dramas, sexual exploration, first relationships, hormones, results-driven schools and home life all have huge effects on young people who are often still in the process of learning to regulate emotions and feelings that come with growing up such as betrayal, pressure to perform, guilt and shame.
Contact the school and see what options you have as they may be able to drop some subjects or come in less frequently alongside homeschooling. There are always options for your child. If your child has mental health troubles, no doubt, you yourself are also going through a difficult time mentally as it takes a huge toll when your child is suffering. Pressing the reset button and just focussing on the overall mental health of the family is definitely more important than attending school days.
Holidays
We all know those flights are wayyy cheaper if you book in term time so the temptation of taking your child out is often irresistible. If your child misses lots of school already and is falling behind then it is arguably worth keeping your child in school by moving the holiday to school holiday time. However, the memories made on holidays are way worth taking your child out. Some of my absolute favourite memories I have with my family are on the amazing holidays we went on so don’t feel guilty about that cheeky week away, I’m sure in the grand scheme of things, your child really didn’t miss too much and can catch up pretty quickly! But those memories and experiences they have on holiday will stay with them forever. Bear in mind, however, that you can BE FINED if you take your child away on holiday during term time without the school’s permission so you have to ask the school in advance to check.
Sick Days
A few days off for the stomach bug is not going to put a dent in your child’s education. However, a consistent and/or reoccurring health problem will inevitably lead to lots of missed school days. It is always a challenge to juggle your child receiving an education and making sure they are physically okay to be going in. Often a child who misses lots of school due to health conditions actually wants to go in and see their friends as it’s a way to feel a sense of normality away from a world that revolves around their health. Ultimately, health is wealth and nothing is more important than keeping your child healthy. The school they miss is not important and exams can be had another time.
If your child is however lying about being sick, then that is another matter. It might not be sick days they are requiring rather they are seeking what is now termed ‘mental health’ days. I understand the feeling of not wanting to get up and just needing a break however a toxic cycle can flourish when a child realises that they can get a day off for mental health. One possible tactic that can work here is realising the need for a break and offering a deal of one day per month or whatever works for you depending on your child. If they need a day off for a break, they can have it, but it’s limited. Communicate this with your child so they understand that you see their need and will help meet it. “You’ve got your GCSE’s and I know that’s very stressful, plus with all the friendship drama going on, I can see that you might want to take a sick day every now and again. So let’s say you can have a sick day once a month to have a break but no more than that because your schooling is important to me.”
Alternative Schooling
For other children, it is the parents who have decided to participate in an alternative schooling system. Children trade in desks and traditional subjects for a more experiential and explorational type of learning. This can be through a life on the road, or simply by being homeschooled at their house. I’m sure there have been many thoughts and discussions as to what the best path is for your child that ultimately you as the parent will decide. There will be lots of people who judge you… BLOCK THEM OUT. Any decent parent will always make the choice that is best for their children so give yourself credit when making your choices. The mainstream schooling system is not for everyone and some children get stuck in a system that does more harm than good so why not take them out and explore other education options. No judgement here!
Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please do send an email to nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com
