Losing a Pet: A Child’s First Experience of Death

Last week, I said goodbye to my childhood dog, Daisy. She was with us for an incredible 14 years and was the sweetest, most loyal companion. Reflecting on it, I realized that my first experiences with loss were with the pets I grew up with. From fish and guinea pigs to rabbits, cats, and finally in my teens, Daisy, each one held a special place in our hearts. Losing them was never easy, but the love and joy they brought into our lives will always be cherished. For many children, the death of a beloved pet is their first encounter with loss. Whether it’s a goldfish, a cat, or the family dog, the bond they share with their pet is often deep and unconditional. Saying goodbye can be heartbreaking, and as parents or caregivers, it’s important to guide them through this difficult time with love, honesty, and support.

Understanding Their Grief

Children experience grief differently than adults. Depending on their age and personality, their emotions might range from sadness and confusion to anger or even guilt. Some may ask lots of questions, while others might struggle to express how they feel. It’s important to let them know that all of these feelings are completely normal.

Be Honest But Gentle

It’s natural to want to shield children from painful truths, but using vague phrases like "Fluffy ran away" or "Buddy went to sleep" can lead to confusion. Instead, be clear but kind:
“I have some sad news. Our pet has died. That means their body stopped working, and they won’t be coming back.”
Honesty helps kids process what happened rather than feeling misled later on.

Encourage Them To Express Feelings

Let your child know that it’s okay to feel sad, cry, or even be angry. Grief can be overwhelming, especially for little hearts. Encourage open conversations, and let them share memories or feelings in their own way—through talking, drawing, or even writing a letter to their pet.

Create A Special Goodbye

A small ritual, like a memorial or planting a tree in honor of their pet, can provide closure. Some kids may find comfort in making a scrapbook or sharing their favorite memories as a family. Giving them space to say goodbye in their own way can be healing.

Watch For Signs Of Struggle

While grief is normal, some children may have a harder time coping. If they seem withdrawn, anxious, or overly distressed for a prolonged period, gentle reassurance and extra support from a counsellor or therapist may be helpful.

Don’t Rush To Replace

It might be tempting to get another pet right away to ease the sadness, but allowing time to grieve is important. Each pet is unique, and children should have the opportunity to process their loss before welcoming a new furry (or scaly!) friend.

A Lesson In Love And Loss

As painful as it is, losing a pet teaches children valuable lessons about love, loss, and resilience. With your guidance, they’ll learn that grief is a part of life—and that even though their pet is gone, the love and memories will always remain.

Do you have any special ways of helping children through pet loss? Share your thoughts in the comments—we’d love to hear from you.

Written By Nanny Emmy

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like us to discuss in future blogs please do send an email to nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com