“I Don’t Enjoy Parenting Right Now”
THE GUILT! My gosh there are some unrealistic ideas of parenting going around in today’s society. It would actually be completely ABNORMAL to find every single day an easy breezy doddle with no challenges. Of course there will be times when you struggle, when you feel low and maybe even downright miss the person you were before kids. But that’s all part of the parcel.
Realistically speaking:
You will not enjoy every aspect of parenting.
There will be scenarios you could have handled better but didn’t in the moment.
You will want time to yourself sometimes.
At points, you will feel like you’re failing.
These feelings and scenarios are what many overly performative social media people prose as 'subpar parenting’, but I much prefer to use the more in touch definition of- THAT’S LIFE. Raising a kid is not supposed to be easy. It is the ultimate test of unconditional love, selfless dedication to another life and resilience of your physical and mental capabilities.
You’ll have your own personal reasons as to why you don’t enjoy parenting currently. But always remember:
‘This is a wonderful day, I’ve never seen this one before’- Maya Angelou. Every single day is a day you have never experienced. The predictability of childcare routines may leave one feeling uninspired but there is always something different about every single day. Something new to experience. Something different to feel. When you're feeling down, try to focus on the new experiences you've had, no matter how small they might seem.
Your job is to teach, to be an educator of life to a child who has so much to learn before they are ready to take the plunge and hopefully be a positive member of society. Focus on the values you want your child to learn. Whether that’s respecting others, having faith, valuing the Earth or all of them. The gift of strong values should never be underestimated.
Some ages are tougher than others. As your kids turn to adults you’ll look back on those years and laugh at the stories of horrendous tantrums, crazy teen years or that awful car ride argument. You’ll laugh and cherish them because they are part of the stories that make up your life, the good, the bad and the ugly. We all have so much experiencing to do.
Let go a little bit. You can’t control everything. Whether your life circumstances have been pretty crappy or your child’s behaviour is making you feel exhausted, learn to shift your mindset to embrace more positivity in your life. Release the minor worries and focus on what truly matters.
I know…I know it’s all good and well me saying these things. You are the one who has to actually live through your experiences, and those experiences can leave one feeling pretty hopeless sometimes. Use your community! Reach out for help if you need. Many parents understand the feelings you have. Use childcare services or friends and family to give you a break every now and again and if things get really bad, don’t feel ashamed to seek professional psychological help. You have so many options for support so the only thing stopping you is you!
Wishing you all the best and I hope things get easier!
Nanny Emmy
Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please do send an email to nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com
