Getting Children to Stay in Bed
There is always a reason why children get out of bed at night. They could be scared, they may want to stay up longer, they may want more time with you. Learning to listen to our kids and responding to their needs better will ensure that they respect your need for them to stay in bed. Here are a few tips on how to keep your child in bed at night.
1- Adhere to Their Requests
Children may want a glass of water, a quick little snack, the toilet, a light turned on or a check under the bed for monsters. Some of these requests will be genuine and some will be what I call ‘time-wasters’ that ensures the child gets them precious extra minutes up! Whatever it is they want, just do it, do it quickly and return back to the bedtime routine. The consequences of not checking under the bed for monsters or not leaving the light on in the hallway can be far more time and energy consuming than if you just do it. A tearful tantrum before bed is just not necessary. I know I don’t like to go to bed without all of my list checked off. Is the front door locked? Yes. Do I have a glass of water on my bedside table? Perfect. Children are exactly the same! They just need some help from an adult to tick off all the things necessary for them sleep peacefully at night.
2-Redirection To Maintain Control
If the requests become too much you will have to take control of the situation with redirection back to the bedtime routine. If a child is asking for a snack, I would say “okay, let me get you a snack and then we can read books in bed”. The goal is to always bring them back to the routine for falling asleep. Sometimes a child will push the boundaries and keep asking for things like “please just one more book”. Here I tend to offer a compromise and then continue to redirect. I would say “I’ve already read a whole book with you so I won’t read another one. I will read 1 chapter from the next book and then you can listen to your audiobook story”. Each child will be completely different. Some will require a lot of redirecting and some (who love sticking to their routines) won’t require redirecting at all.
3- Offer Choices
By giving a child choices, you allow them the freedom to choose a reasonable bedtime routine that keeps them happy and most importantly, you’ve given the choices so you’re happy with either one! What do you want to do? Read a book in bed or listen to an audiobook? You want to read a book? Okay great. You can’t come downstairs and watch TV, do you want me to come up and read a book with you or come sit in your room whilst you fall asleep? Sit in your room? Perfect. Giving choices helps so much with keeping a child from getting out of bed because their needs are being fulfilled and they can fall asleep peacefully.
4- Remain Calm but Stern
Your demeanour and presence can turn what should be an easy bedtime routine into a frustration filled evening of tears. If you loose your patience and snap no one is going to want to fall asleep, they will want to cry and be soothed. I know this can be difficult which is why if you're in the position of having a partner you can tag in when you feel like exploding, tag them in! If you don’t have anyone with you, take yourself out of the room, take a few big deep breaths, you’ve got this, give the child a choice and keep redirecting. I like to chuck in a few fake (or mostly real) yawns, completely lower the volume of my voice and minimise my movements. A child in bed with all of their needs met will take on average around 20 minutes to fall asleep. So when you’re stuck in their bedroom because they asked you to lie down next to them in bed always remember that it won’t be for too long!
Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please send an email to: nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com
