Getting A Child To Do Things On Time

The Buffer Zone

The absolute key to time management with a child is a buffer zone. This is a chunk of time that is already accounted for as ‘wasted time'. I usually have a buffer zone of 30 minutes meaning I start everything half an hour before it is needed. If dinner is usually at 6, I aim to make dinner at half 5, if having a bath is usually done at 7, I aim to have the kids in the bath at half 6 and if books before bed is usually done at 8, then I aim for to read books at half 7. This half an hour buffer zone takes a lot of pressure off both you and the child to rush everything and allows time for chatting and messing around in between! You will probably find that by the end of the bedtime routine, the child has used up the buffer zone time and can go to bed at the time you intended them too! By keeping some ‘spare’ time you reduce the possibility of a tantrum because you can accept the child’s requests of wanting “1 more cartoon!”, the child is happy as they feel they are staying up later and you’re happy because they actually aren’t!

Timers

Timers are a great tool! Children generally start to grasp the concept of time at around 6-7 years so visual and audible aids such as timers do wonders in letting a child know when they have to stop something. I often set timers for TV time or for when we need to leave the house. Of course consider a buffer zone when setting your timer so if you need to leave the house at 4 and your child is watching TV, set the timer for half 3.

The Art of Haggling

“I’ll give you £10,000 if you let me stay up longer”, “I won't like you anymore if you don’t let me read one more chapter”, “ please I’m begging you 5 MORE MINUTES!!!!’ are just some of the wild haggling techniques I have encountered as children desperately try to push the bedtime boundary for an extra 5 minutes up. I personally can’t wait for my bed but for children the words bedtime are met with deflated disappointment followed by multiple pushback attempts. Sometimes saying no to these requests can lead to a frustration filled, tearful evening that turns into a battle of you trying to get your child to bed and them saying not yet! Once you become a haggling master and stick to your guns, the risk of tantrums decreases massively. The secret is this: Already have an idea of the extra time you’ll let them have, let’s say 15 minutes. Now you give them a low ball offer! Tell them you’ll let them have 10 minutes, if they accept great! If they say “No 20 minutes!”, then you go straight down the middle at 15. Sometimes children will persist and go again with the 20 minutes! So you will low ball them again with the 10 minutes! “10 minutes or 15 minutes, it’s your choice”. Most children stick with the 15...smart kids. They’re happy and you’re happy so it’s a win-win.

Start To Remove Options

You want to get your child out of the door but they are stuck playing with their toys. One way I start to get children ready to leave is about 15 minutes before we have to go I start removing stimulus from their surroundings. I start packing away toys, putting pens back in the pencil case or moving food back into the kitchen. This restricts the distractions and lets them know we are getting ready to leave. If they are currently playing with toys and get upset when you start to tidy, it’s helpful to let a child know that they can bring a toy with them and let them choose the lucky toy that can come out for the day.

Relocating Options

Once you have started removing options such as toys or food, it is helpful to relocate some of them to places you would like your child to go. If you want your child to get in the car, relocate a few toys and snacks to their car seat. You can then say “it’s time to go now, I’ve moved your snacks into the car and your teddy is also waiting for you there”. Using a favourite toy or snacks can really speed up the process of getting your child to where they need to be.

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please send an email to: nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com