To the exhausted mother and/or father…how on Earth are you still functioning on sometimes less than 4 hours sleep a night. As much as you are super humans at this point, there comes a time when your child’s sleepless nights become overly problematic and it begins to affect all aspects of your life because you NEED to sleep. It’s always hard to pinpoint the exact causes of your child’s sleeplessness. Is it something biological or psychological, is this a phase they’ll grow out of? I’m sure you have already tried a lot of things so here I’ll try add some more things to that list in the hopes it helps a little.

1.Being A Presence

Often in this age group, a common reason for waking up is being scared and not wanting to be alone. However, waking up all the time to go sit in your child’s room until they fall back asleep can create a damaging cycle for you, as you forfeit your sleep. One way to create your presence without actually being in the room is to record a voice note that they can play when they wake up scared. There are lots of ways to do this so explore ways to get your voice onto something they can easily play. You know your child best so get creative with what you say but a standard example is (in a gentle voice) “Hey baby, I know you’re scared right now and it might seem like you’re alone, but you’re not because I’m here. Mummy/daddy needs to sleep right now, but don’t worry because you’re not alone. Lie back down and close your eyes because I’m right here and I’m going to read you a little story…”. This can be incredibly calming for your child who has woken up scared and just needs reassurance and calming. At first you may need to play it yourself but eventually they can learn to play it without you there. Every now and again switch it up so they don’t become bored with the same reassurance.

2.Keep Notes

Use a little notepad and every time your child wakes you up, jot down the time and anything memorable like why they woke and what they wanted. This will help you keep a record of the times and reasons which will help so much in finding patterns that you could explore. Not only will it be helpful to you, but also helpful to any sleep professional or GP that you may want to visit. Once you stick to and are consistent with the note taking then you can begin to experiment with different conditions for sleeping and how that affects your child. For example all week they woke up 3 times in the night but they only woke up once on the night where the night light was switched off. Or for 2 weeks they have woken up twice every night but on the night when I gave them 1 pillow to sleep on instead of 2, they slept all through the night. Perhaps they sleep better with a pet in the room for company, perhaps it’s the temperature! The note taking allows for you to remember the patterns you notice. No one knows your kid better than you, so if you give yourself the chance to properly explore the problem, you may find the answers you’re looking for yourself!

3.Recognise Their Anxieties

It may be confusing as to why your child wakes up crying and needing your presence as in the day they are bright, smiley, easy going and sociable. One reason your child may be waking up crying is they are expressing their anxiety at a time when they feel most vulnerable- alone and in the dark. We all get the chance to let our imaginations go wild lying there in bed and thinking of all the things that happen in our days. Your child’s anxieties of life may be more driven to present themselves at night rather than in the daytime. Find an opportunity in the day to discuss the possible reasons behind the waking up and crying. Honesty and simplicity is usually the best approach with children and it gives your child a chance to talk about anything that has bothered them in the day.

4.What Are They Watching?

5-8 is generally the age when children want to interact properly with technology. Parents are placed under pressure to conform and let their children have access to tablets and phones leaving children open to consuming whatever information they find on the internet. Being scared and having nightmares is another big reason for many children waking up so it may be worth scanning through the books, movies, games and songs your child is exposed to and temporarily eliminate any themes surrounding death, monsters, fears etc and instead replace them with positive themes for a while, especially positive themes surrounding bedtime and sleep.

5.You Can Only Do What You Can

You are not a machine that can function on less than 5 hours sleep each night. Eventually, in some way, either physically or mentally, that lack of sleep will catch up with you. You are not alone going through this and often this is something children will naturally push through and it does get better. Use all your resources, contact your GP, try get access to sleep professionals who could give you more insight and track specific sleep patterns. And the most important thing, don’t lose yourself in this. You’re doing a great job and sometimes there really is no explanation for it. When the sleep gets really bad, call up friends and family members to see if they’ll take care of your kid for a night while you rest. You do not need to go through this alone. It takes a village to raise a child so use your village and ask for help.

Good luck and I wish you all the best,

Nanny Emmy

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please do send an email to nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com