Many of the children I work with have autism. Autism is a developmental disorder with a wide spectrum meaning every child will present differently so it’s important to have plenty of tools and helpful tips to ensure you both navigate the day smoothly. Over time you will pick up which routines and tools work best for you and your child but while you are figuring that out, below I have recommended some things to try!

Timers

Timers can be a great tool for focussing a child on a particular activity. Visual timers are perfect so they see the time ticking down or watch the colour disappear or the sand flow through to the bottom. There are so many different types of visual timers you can get. I find that sand timers work pretty well as they are quite fun to watch and most importantly they don’t make a loud sound at the end!

Visual Timetables

Some children with autism like to have an outline of the day ahead which they can tick off when each task has been achieved. I do this with a simple bulleted list on a piece of paper but you can make it as extravagant as you want depending on how helpful your child finds it. The most important part is to make sure the list 100% reflects what is going to happen in the day because children with autism use these lists to make sure they know what is happening and to mentally prepare themselves for the day. When something on the list doesn’t happen or if something new is introduced to the day, that is when the child could experience difficulty in processing their emotions and a meltdown or shutdown may occur. If something new pops up or a change to the day needs to be made, sit down with your child and adjust the timetable together so they are fully aware of the change.

Sensory Control

These are helpful items or habits that you implement to increase or decrease your child’s sensory experiences. Every child is different but you may notice that your child has particular sensory needs and if these needs are not met they can become uncomfortable which may lead a meltdown or shutdown. Here are some examples of sensory controls for each sense:

Sound- For less sound you can try noise cancelling headphones to block out external noises. For children that like sound you could get them their own earphones and iPod or other music playing device so they can choose which sounds they would like to hear.

Sight- Light can sometimes be overwhelming so sunglasses can become beneficial to dim the room, in some cases blindfolds or eye patches can work to completely eliminate visual stimulus. Some children however love lights and purchasing colour changing smart bulbs for the house where the child can control the colour of the light can be satisfying for your child.

Touch- For children that can be easily overwhelmed with touch, gloves are a great purchase. They act as a barrier to the outside world and children can avoid feeling too much texture in the things they touch. Minimising your own touch with your child is also important. If you notice your child doesn’t like to be touched, I know it can be so hard as a loving parent to want cuddle time and kiss your child, but just know deep down that your child is not avoiding you because they don’t love you, they just get overwhelmed at you touching their skin. Make sure other family members are aware of this too! For children that require more touch, items such as gooey balls, blue tack, fidget spinners and poppers can be great. Fluffy blankets and texture based items can also be used. You may find that their need for close proximity and touch feels slightly unnatural. They might talk very close to your face or touch you when speaking. Having your own barriers in place for this is important but eventually children begin to notice socially accepted behaviours and learn that being too close makes others uncomfortable. While they are young however, I find the days are WAY smoother if I embrace the closeness the child seeks out rather than avoiding it.

Taste- Children with autism may have a limited tolerance for taste preferring to stick to the beige foods. I call them ‘the chicken nugget children’ although many of them won’t even eat chicken nuggets. One child I looked after would only eat margarita pizza or plain pasta on repeat every single day. The routine and comfortability of eating the same foods is satisfying to the child and so trying not to force new foods is important. Having a meal plan and timetable can help a child prepare for what they are going to eat so nothing comes as a surprise! For children that love taste, purchasing food items that are sour, sweet, bitter and salty can be very satisfying. Even try out unusually textured foods such as candy floss and popping candy!

Smell- A small spray of perfume can be overwhelming for some children with autism so avoid things with big aromas like cooking aromatic foods, any scented sprays or strong scented laundry detergent. Keeping neutral smells can be a challenge so finding a scent that your child likes such as a particular blanket or specific scent is useful as if they are overwhelmed with other scents you can pass them the item that they would prefer to smell. On the other hand some children love scents and feel satisfied smelling lots of different smells. One particular child I worked with loved smelling garlic and when we cooked dinner together he would experience so much joy getting everyone to smell the crushed garlic! Buying scented pens or different aroma oils for the house could be a good idea if your child loves scents.

Calm Reactions

When a child with autism is unregulated and having trouble with their emotional reactions the last thing they need is to be surrounded by someone else who is struggling to control their emotions! Always take a calm approach and have patience. It is not the end of the world if you're late to meet your friend or miss an appointment or if your child is displaying explosive behaviours. Take a deep breath and step out of the room if you need. Your child will regulate themselves eventually, it just might take some time. Have your tools to hand that could help provide some sensory control (read the above point) and remember that all you can really do is control your own reactions.

Silent Reflection

I often find that giving a child some time to contemplate information is helpful. Any changes in the days schedule can cause big reactions so giving the child some time to process the change on their own can have calming effects. After overwhelming moments I have been told by many children to “GO AWAY” and so I do! Giving the child space to sit in an empty room by themselves can give them the freedom to work things through in their heads without distractions.

I hope some of these will be helpful to you! Autism is a wide spectrum disorder so each child will be completely different and as a parent you will pick up on the individual nuances of your child’s autism leading to developing your own strategies for going about your day. It can be an exhausting, thankless role as a parent but just know that you are doing a brilliant job and your child is lucky to have someone that cares so deeply for them in their life. Your child may not see it now, but everyone else definitely does and when they are older they’ll understand the endless effort you put in to keeping them regulated and teaching them socially acceptable behaviours that will help them navigate adulthood.

Thanks for reading! If you have any questions or topics you would like me to discuss in future blogs please do send an email to nannyemmyquestions@gmail.com